


Judge of Time

by springburn



Series: Dr Who mini fics and prompts [12]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, Heartbreak, Love and Loss, hurt comfort, whouffaldi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 20:23:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5178416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/springburn/pseuds/springburn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor is in the Tardis after the Zygon Inversion......</p>
            </blockquote>





	Judge of Time

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt by @petersgal (thank you so much) and because this idea popped into my head I had to write it straight away.
> 
> "The doctor goes back to the tardis and needs to tell clara how he really feels after he thinks he has lost her...easy.:)" 
> 
> It's my take on the prompt and my take on Clara's finale. 
> 
> It is set after the Zygon Inversion, when The Doctor and Clara have said farewell to The Osgoods.

JUDGE OF TIME. 

He flicked a switch on the console.  
As a parting gesture, she'd turned, smiled, and winked at him, mirth dancing in those deep brown eyes.  
"See you! Daft old man!"  
She'd hugged him tight, just before.  
Up on tip toes, arms around his neck. Her face close to his.  
The scent of her had once made his breath hitch. His brain turn to marshmallow.  
So many things he'd wanted to say, he'd wanted to tell her.  
It was never quite the right time, and now? Now, she was almost lost to him again.  
Further than ever this time.  
He'd been lucky.  
But only just. 

She'd been saved. 

oOo

What a long month it had been.  
Five minutes for her, blissfully unaware, but four long weeks for him.  
Uncertainty, desperate longing at first.  
Then acceptance, realisation.  
It was almost a relief to turn away as she disappeared.  
Head bent down over his hands, he leaned against the console.  
Sobbing.  
His shoulders shook, legs barely able to sustain his weight.  
"GODS!! " He cried, to the ceiling above. "OH CLARA ,MY CLARA!"  
Bringing down his fists over and over, as the Tardis beeped her displeasure.

He'd saved her. 

Best she didn't know.  
How could he possibly tell her?  
What had happened.  
What he'd done.  
Just what she meant to him. How much he loved her.  
Clara Oswald.  
His impossible girl.  
That mind! So quick, so clever. So knowing.  
Oh, she knew that alright! He couldn't hide that from her.  
On the phone, she'd said it to him, to let him know, leave him in no doubt, that she knew.  
"If you love me in any way, you'll come back......"  
And HOW he loved her.  
Deeply, desperately, with every fibre of his being.  
Far far too much to let her go completely. 

She had been saved. 

oOo

 

The nights alone, at the end of an adventure.  
Unable to close his eyes without her face appearing to him.  
Those dimpled cheeks, that smile.  
Completely captivated.  
He longed to kiss her, touch her, be one with her.  
Craved it.  
Never the right time. Never.  
And now, it would never be.  
Because the moment was gone.  
She'd slipped away from him already.  
An ephemeral wisp of nothing, dissipating into thin air. 

His body ached.  
Bone tired.  
Exhausted, physically and emotionally. 

Swinging down the lever, the old girl whirled him away.  
"Take me somewhere where I can be lost.......  
Lost to everyone and everything, where I can float and forget, and heal." He whispered, his voice reed thin.  
His Time Machine would know, She would help him.  
Right now his sorrow was still rage; vengeful, tormented anger.  
He wanted to scream and rant. Smash and destroy.  
The injustice.  
Always losing. Sick of it.  
Later, he knew it would temper itself, turn to melancholic brooding.  
He would mope and weep, tears for Clara, tears for himself.  
Pity, for both of them, and what he'd wanted them to be.  
But couldn't have.  
What he'd lost.

He'd saved her. 

oOo

The horror of that moment when he discovered her.  
Inside that pod.  
No more use to Zygonella.  
He'd known then. That this was the end.  
That he couldn't free her.  
It was too late.  
Tears staining her face, she'd been so afraid.  
But defiant to the last. 

Moments passed, where he'd beaten his hands against the wall until they bled.  
Cried, yelled, paced up and down, holding a conversation with himself.  
"I told you I'd come back for you Clara. That you wouldn't be alone. I told you I'd save you.....I'd save you......I'd save you!"  
Then it hit him........right between the eyes......literally.  
Yes, he COULD save her.........forever.  
"I was mentally linked with Clara......."  
River's words seared in his memory, burned onto his hearts.  
A tiny spark of hope.  
The only one that remained.  
Taking his sunglasses from his pocket.  
Altering the setting.  
On the sonic screwdriver it had been little green indicators, flashing the dwindling life force.  
The failing consciousness.  
His glasses were more hi-tech.

A bit of jiggery pokery.  
Back to the Tardis, then back to the Library.  
Five minutes.  
That's all it would be for to her.  
Then she'd be back with him, saving the world.  
He'd stayed on though......hung around.....stayed because he couldn't bear to leave straight away.  
The pull of her was just too strong.  
Couldn't be parted from her. The real her that is.  
A whole month, knowing. 

She'd been saved.

oOo

His long tapered fingers tapped the keyboard with practiced ease. 

_"Good evening Doctor!"_

"Good evening Dr Moon." 

The soothing digitalised voice spoke. Echoing around the console room.  
Speaking aloud in reply to the disembodied mouthpiece, the Timelord answered, with a sigh. 

"Library Computer System CAL.......interface switching to standby mode." 

_"This is CAL. Patched into the Tardis Data Core. Switching to standby mode._  
_Thank you for accessing CAL. You are now logged out."_

Flicking off the computer display screen.  
The Doctor turned away slowly, his shoulders hunched, steps heavy as he made his way up the stairs to sit in his favourite chair, alone.  
"Where to next I wonder? My Clara." He murmured sadly to himself.  
Seating himself, resting his head back, closing his eyes, he drifted into an uneasy sleep.

She'd been saved. 


End file.
